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SWEAT SELLS
Who's sweat would you buy? |
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The seamy underbelly of the American Gym/Fitness Industry hides a dark and dirty secret that
nobody wants to discuss. No, its not the outrageous prices they charge for a passive
service. No, its not the bait and switch tactics commonly practiced by their sales
representatives. No, its not the way they frequently double bill and add hidden fees. Nor
is it their criminal customer service, their aging equipment, their laxadasical security,
nor their sub-standard hygenics. It's sweat -- sweat sells. The various fitness facilities
around the country have been collecting sweat from their patrons, then selling it to the
Chinese pharamaceutical industry. The typical gymnasium can squeeze as much as 500 gallons
from their showers, saunas, and dirty towels. This mineral juice is then packaged and
transported to the far east. Over there, American sweat is touted as the newest cure all.
Sellers claim it makes children grow large, gives old men potency, relieves rheumatism and
arthritis, cures headaches and gout. The Chinese citizens are crazy for western sweat.
Prices have gone insane, an ounce of this salty water sells for nearly fifty dollars. Gym
customers, when told about this practice, have been outraged. Said one woman, "I don't want
to workout thinking about some Chinese pervert drinking my sweat." When asked to respond, a
fitness spokesman answered, "Big deal. It's not like these people were going to take their
sweat home with them. Besides, if you knew what was in Gatorade, you wouldn't be bothering
us."
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